It's a love hate relationship

Lately I've been going to Walmart to do my banking. They have a bank in there, and a very cute banker that works there too!

He's really nice and every time I in there, I'll admit, I'm a bit flirty with him.

Every Wednesday and Thursday at stunting for cheer, there's this really obnoxious college kid thats there. He thinks he's the greatest base in the world(Base=the guy that lifts us girls up in the air), which I will admit he's dang strong and very good, but the cockiness drives me insane. He's always telling me I'm doing things wrong and acts as if he walks on water.

Well today I took at trip to Walmart to cash my check, and there was cute banker boy... and also crazy obnoxious college kid was there...

and thats when I realized... college kid and cute banker boy are the SAME PERSON!!

He says to me, "Oh where were you Thursday at stunting! We missed you."

I've got that stupid 'duh' look on my face. I'm speechless. Simply because this boy I've been trying to flirt with is also the same boy that makes me want to pull my hair out.

"You better be there Wednesday and Thursday!" he says. Ah! How did this happen...

My Ogie

If you've ever seen the Waitress you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't, try to understand.

In this particular movie there's Dawn,

And she's a waitress at Joe's Pie Diner. Now, she is a little geeky. . . poor Dawn, and she attracts one of the most annoying people on earth. . . she calls him Ogie. Not even geeky Dawn deserves this parasitic guy.

He's just a super weirdo. She actually tells him "Listen to me, you make me sick. You're nothing but a crazy little freak, and I wish you'd go away and die!" A little harsh you may think, but this guy is a trip...

I actually have an 'Ogie' of my own.

This kid is pushing me to the edge of my patience. I'm highly considering a restraining order.

He'll send me like ten texts within one minute of each other. Its people like him that make me hate modern day technology, referring to phones and texting. And if I don't answer him, he'll ask "Are you there?"

I hate him, I think he's nothing but a crazy little freak, and I wish he would just go away.

Never

Once again, my mom went out of town and it was a huge slap in the face about how much she does.

It made me never want to be a mom & never have kids.

I decided long ago that if I did have kids, I'd just sent them off to a special child camp until they were to a bearable age . . . maybe like eight, and then I'd take it from there.

There is no such thing as just the terrible twos,

it's the terrible ones

twos

threes

fours

fives

sixes . . .

you get the point.

kudos mom!

I don't know how or why you do it!

Love you!

I Love My Baby . . .

She's Cute . . .

She's A Princess . . .

(Or At Least Thinks She Is)

She's Spunky . . .

And A Little Strange . . .

And one thing my family will agree on, is that she drives us nuts when she plays with the feminine hygiene products that are in the garbage can.

Ah we love you peyton!

ARG!

There is nothing more annoying,

than staying up till 3 AM reading a book you have to report on the next day in class,

when your teacher failed to tell you about the book until the week it was due( she "forgot" to tell me when she gave me my absent work)

and then going to school, feeling fairly prepared,

and getting a lower grade than the two idiots that sit next to me.

After grades are in, they lean over to me and say 'we didn't even read to book, we just looked up the summary online'.

I hate boys . . .

Straight up EWWW!

I have an internship at the hospital on the first floor.

It's hard cause when I tell stories, I'm not allowed to use names, for the patients sake. After all, we live in a small world, and following around nurses, you see a LOT.

It was my third day as an intern and the Charge Nurse had me follow some one different around than I usually follow. Different is good, I thought . . .

The first thing she says to me is, "Oh good, I was just about to do a bed bath. You can help me."

So we go in, get all of the soaps and towels and a change of linens and gowns. I don't know what I was thinking this was going to be like, but it was nothing like I thought.

We walk into this room with this very frail looking old man. The PCT I'm following around informs him what we're doing, and says to me, "Come put some gloves on."

She walks me through the steps of preparing the water, and tells me to go on the other side of the bed.

What I wasn't ready for came next. The old man whips his blanket back to expose him in his nothingness but a thin, white top.

"Oh sir, we're going to have to take that off so we can wash you up."

AH! Luckily the old man fell asleep...(sigh.. of definite relief) so it wasn't too awkward . . . until she showed me how to clean off the catheter.

Oh, but we didn't stop at that man. She bathed an old lady, we had to help someone use a bed pan, and there was this nutty old man that kept taking his clothes off and trying to get out of bed. He kept trying to grab one of the nurses butt's, he said to another one, "Are you gonna help me, or just stand there and bitch at me", he told us he was going to call 'state farm' on us because we were 'throwing him to the ground', and if we didn't let him leave in exactly fifteen minutes he was going to call someone on us.

This continued on until some smart nurse gave him a nice needle to the arm to calm him down.

I'm definitely not going to be a PCT. As much as I now appreciate those lovely ladies and men that do that, there is no way!

&it also made me realize, there is no way in heck I wanna get old. I'm gonna vacation to Never Land, and I'm not returning!

oh heaven help

Can I just say, OH MY GOSH!

I spent a week with my little sisters playing mommy, it was hell!

Not like pretend hell, like . . . literal hell!

They yelled at me, screamed at me, kicked at me, wined at me, all the above!

When I'd put them to bed, they'd sneak out of bed, turn on their light and play for another hour.

When I'd ask them what they wanted to eat, they'd tell me, I'd make it, and they'd change their minds after it was already done.

I'd tell them no, and you'd a thunk that I popped one of them right in the forehead(don't get me wrong I wanted to do this a countless number of times!).

All in all, I have one word . . . awful!

The only time they were good is when they were sleeping, or not with me!

I have never appreciated my mom more than I do now after caring for those little twits.

She does so dang much and I've never realized it.

going nuts

I had a wild dream last night, and the weirdest part is I dreamed I was a mom to my sisters, and they were driving me CRAZY!! ... Imagine that ...

Maya is in on the toilet, and she calls me in to help her.

I open the door and get blasted right in the face with a solid stream of ... PEE! Of course she thinks it's ridiculously hilarious and continues to pee on everything in the bathroom. I'm trying to control her(unsuccessfully) while Peyton is tugging on me saying 'What's for dinner!!'

I peek my head out the bathroom door to my 'husband'(who for some reason's name is Earl . . . I don't even know an Earl) and say, "Earl! Get in here and help me! Maya is peeing on everything!" He just laughs. Great husband.

So when I look back at Maya, she's now got her head in the toiled, where only some of her pee made it into.

"Earl!! Come in here and help me! This child is a nut, she stuck her head in the toilet!"

And.. Earl Laughs.

Dang that Earl.

I tell you right now, if I ever meet a man named Earl, I'll run the other way, and that smallish nightmare just made me that much more not excited for motherhood!

It's the thought that counts...right?

So mom says, "Hey, get dressed. We're going to sacrament."

We all get dressed, mom takes a shower, we put our makeup on, little girls are all dressed . . .

then mom says, "Hey call Kenzie and ask her what time church starts."

Kenzie doesn't answer. . . and neither does Tom . . . and neither does Julie . . .

Just our luck, we missed it. We're all ready, we were ready to go, and we missed it!

Come on, we tried, it's the thought that counts . . . right??

like OMG!

I don't know how many times my doctor has said 'Cheerleading is the most dangerous sport out there'. Let me just prove that to you once more.

This year, I became a main flyer, which in the world of cheer is a big deal. Your the girl in the air that everyone is watching, and for some reason we get a good rush out of being thrown through the air and trusting the girls underneath us to catch us.

This morning we were trying a new pyramid that is ridiculously hard beyond reasoning, and lucky me I was main flying it. You pretty much launch yourself from one stunt group to the next and land in the splits. Scary stuff.

So we tried it two times and it wasn't good at all, and Coach Cami wanted us to do it one more time. Famous last words, "Lets just do it one more time".

Here I am, flying through the air, trying to do good, and bam!

I smash a girl in the face with my elbow and pop goes her teeth, right out of her face and onto the ground!!

"My teeth are out!" she screamed!

Can you believe it?! I knocked her two front teeth clean out of her face, so pretty much I ruined her!

:(

School starts next week, and I'm praying they can do something for her!

Cheer . . . why do we do it??

Is that really necessary?

Code Brown happened 3 times within in 2 day at work this week..

Case 1: The pool hadn't even opened yet and there it was, a tiny little present at the bottom of the baby pool.

Case 2: A nice little boy left a treat for us on the steps of the baby pool

and Case 3: Some little girl apparently couldn't find the bathroom and decided to use the grass as a substitute.

You know that phrase "Were you raised in a barn!"

. . . sometimes I wonder . . .

Twits 1&2 have company . . .

Thursday to Friday I played mommy while my mom, dad, aunt and uncle enjoyed a night away in Bear Lake.

I took Twit 1 and 2 and my two little cousins to the pool. Ya know, I thought I could handle it all on my own. 4 kids, no biggy. I babysit about 200 in a day at work not including adults that should know how to 'babysit' themselves.

4 twits at a pool, tiny bit of a mistake.

It's not that they were being bad, or not listening, it's just hard to keep track of 4 kids, especially in that lazy river!

We'd be going around, and I'd look up to talk to one of the lifeguards and when I'd look back down, one twit would be gone and one of my cousins. Lucky for me I had a nine year old helper, so she could look for one twit and I could look for the other.

We got there at about 1 o'clock and started to pack up around 5 o'clock, but the youngest twit, my precious-but-drives-you-absolutely-nuts little sister didn't want to go, at all, and she sat next to the pool and threw a gianormous tantrum. Me, being the anti-child fan that I am just left her there while I went with the other girls and started packing up our stuff. She wasn't far, about 20 feet away, so it wasn't like I was abandoning her or anything.

But, some nosy bystander thought I was abandoning her. She walks over to twit #2 and I hear her say "Come here hunny, I'll take you to the front office." and she shoots me a nasty dirty look.

Me:"Excuse me, she's mine, and she's fine right there. We're just getting ready to leave." This is my nice voice.

Nosy lady: "Well, can I help, she doesn't look very happy." and now she give me that 'your incapable of handling her' look.

Me: Now I have my serious face on, cause she just questioned my 'parenting' abilities. "No, I'm fine."

And this is where I yank twit #2 off the ground and carry her away.

1st of all: Nosy lady has no idea what I'm dealing with! Twit #2 is insane, and she may be only 3 years old, but moms out there, how big of a fit can a three year old throw? Exactly . . .

2nd of all: I'm not a parent, I don't want to be a parent anytime soon, and I don't care if twit #2 likes me after the fact. I just cared about getting her out of there before any of my work peeps could see that she was with me!

and last: 4 ... 4 kids to deal with! I was already in a stressed mood, trying to keep leashes on all of them, making sure their not drowning, where did they go?, 'don't run!', 'stay by me please', 'be nice to each other', blah blah blah . . .

I solute you moms out there . . . how the heck do you do it?